It has been several months since I last wrote on here. Six months to be exact. So much has happened between now and then I almost don't where to begin.  I felt at a loss after the horror at Sandy Hook elementary school in Newtown, CT.  How could I continue to write about the unfairness of my children growing up and leaving me, when 26 little lives will never see their next birthdays.  I felt so devastated for the insurmountable losses suffered by the families, that I couldn't bring myself to feel selfish about my own children.  Yes, I hugged them closer, I stared at them for endless moments when I thought they weren't looking, and every night I still check on them before I go to sleep.  

If I could keep them in a jar and never let them out into to the big bad world, I would. That is not exactly realistic, and we have to let them go, and fly, and learn to be themselves.  I don't have to like it though.  My premise behind this blog is that I am the mama bear, who keeps her children safe and warm. I protect them from predators, the big bad wolf, and anyone or thing that wants to hurt them.  But we can't keep them in a cave under our protection - we send them to school, we let them take the bus, they make plans with kids we don't know and we are somehow supposed to trust them.  They walk around town, or the mall, or hang out at the candy shop.  It is all part of growing up.  We just have to hope and pray that they come home to us safely every night.

Tonight my 11 year old went to her first boy-girl party.  I gave her the " if you feel uncomfortable at any time, text us and we'll come get you right away" speech.  She rolled her eyes and said "mom, we're only in sixth grade! You're too overprotective!"  I told her that that's the way it's going to be for her and her brother until they graduate high school. Deal with it - I love you.